Staring
by hobbleit
Summary: He would often find himself staring. John Paul/Doug paring
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here I am with another Doug/John Paul fic. This is a two parter, I just haven't written the other part yet, lol. Hope this is ok.**

**It's hard to try to be respectful to Craig since I never actually liked him or McDean. **

* * *

John Paul would never get bored of watching Doug. He would often find himself simply staring at him only to have Doug joke about it. He couldn't help it though. From the day he had first seen Doug in the Deli he had loved to watch him. He was gorgeous.

He had the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen in his life. He could stare into them all day and never get bored. He loved how expressive they were. He could tell exactly how Doug was feeling just by looking into them. He loved how they would light up when Doug was happy and how they shone when he laughed.

John Paul also loved his smile. He loved to hear him laugh. Sometimes he would tell Doug daft little jokes with the simple intention of hearing him laugh, the louder, the better. He loved Doug's accent even more. It was wonderful to hear his American tones amongst all the English ones in the village. It made Doug stand out.

Yes, it was clear that John Paul was enamoured with the young American he was currently lying next to in bed.

Doug was sleeping but John Paul had found himself unable to drift off. He couldn't stop thinking about how much his life had changed in just a few months. This time last year he had been with Craig. Now he was living back home with his mother and family with a son. And he was no longer with Craig. If you had said that to him a year ago he would have laughed. He couldn't have imagined his life without Craig. They had fought so hard to be together and he had thought they would be together forever.

He felt Doug stir in his sleep and he rested his arm over Doug's waist. He quickly settled and fell back into a peaceful slumber. John Paul wished he could fall asleep so easily but his mind would not quiet. It's funny how quickly things could change, he thought to himself. He hadn't been looking for any sort of romantic involvement when he first met Doug but here they were. They had fallen into a relationship so easily, something John Paul was not used to. He loved Craig, and he always would, but their relationship had never been easy. There'd been so many secrets and lies. John Paul had waited for months for Craig to admit to everyone that he was gay but he'd hidden it right until the very end. He hadn't even been able to hold his hand in public. Things had changed when they got back together but it still didn't change the fact that it had been so difficult in the beginning.

Doug was different. He was out; he had nothing to hide, especially after Leanne had divulged everything in a blatant attempt to keep them apart. John Paul was able to enjoy the relationship for what it was. He didn't have to lie or cheat or hide. He could kiss Doug in public. He could flirt with him and hold his hand without fear that Doug would rebuke him for doing so.

"You're staring again," Doug's sleepy but beautiful American accent penetrated his thoughts. He hadn't even noticed Doug had woken up.

"Sorry," he apologised. "Didn't even realise I was. I just couldn't sleep."

"Don't worry about it; it's just hard to sleep when I can feel your eyes burning into me," Doug shifted so he was facing John Paul.

"You're being melodramatic now," John Paul joked.

"Yeah, you're right," Doug laughed as he pulled John Paul in for a kiss.

"How long have you been awake for?"

"Not long but I can practically hear your thoughts going round and round you head so hat'cha thinking about?"

"Huh?"

"You said you couldn't sleep."

"Oh, nothing much."

"It's enough to keep you awake."

"I don't know. I was just thinking about the past."

"Oh," Doug averted his gaze, not sure if he wanted to hear what John Paul was going to say.

"No, not like that," John Paul quickly guessed what Doug was thinking and tried to explain himself. "Honestly."

"It doesn't matter," Doug replied as he turned away so John Paul couldn't see his face.

"I mean it. I wasn't thinking what you think I'm thinking, if that even makes sense. I was just thinking about how different this relationship is."

"Oh," Doug said again; the inflection different, less upset and more embarrassed. "Sorry," he apologised as he turned to face John Paul again. "It's just with after everything with Ste…"

"…You don't want to go through that again," John Paul finished. "I know, I get it."

"Sorry," Doug apologised again.

"Don't be," John Paul leaned over and kissed Doug before resting his head on the pillow.

"It's just that sometimes I get lost in my own head and I get hung up on stuff that really shouldn't bother me."

"You don't have to worry about it. I really like you," Doug just lay there and let John Paul's words sink in. After a moment John Paul broke the silence. "You know, I love watching you."

"I had noticed," Doug smiled.

"You're just so interesting."

"No I'm not."

"You are. You're interesting and you're gorgeous."

"Really?" Doug asked, smiling shyly.

"Yeah, thought so from the very first time I saw you. Mind you, I did get a really good view of your arse that day so how could I not think you're gorgeous."

Doug laughed loudly. "It's a good job I like you, Mr. McQueen, or I might find that last comment very offensive."

And there it was again, the bright sparkle in his beautiful blue eyes. The look that sent electric shocks through John Paul's heart and made him smile. "Are you tired?" John Paul asked as he kissed Doug's neck seductively.

"Suddenly, not so much," Doug grinned as he ran his hands through John Paul's hair and pulled him close, kissing him deeply.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Finally updated. Sorry it took so long but I've been busy (and knackered) from work. I did say this would be a two parter but I might write some more for it because I'm really enjoying it.**

**Hope you like it.**

Doug would often catch John Paul staring at him. He would be going about his daily business and then he would look up and see him staring intently at him. He would often tease John Paul for doing it but secretly he loved it.

Truth was he would often do the same. John Paul was like a breath of fresh air in his life after everything that had happened with Ste and, on occasions, he couldn't help but sit and stare at the new man in his life.

He hadn't expected to feel this way again so soon. He had fallen hard and fast for Ste and their break up had been heart wrenching but he was over that now. Sure, he still had some issues to work out but he was a lot happier now than he had ever been with Ste. He had loved him so much but it had never been easy. Ste had always been in love with Brendan and that knowledge had led Doug to do things that he never would have even considered had he not been so much in love with his business partner.

That was over now and despite all the heartbreak it felt like a tonne weight had been lifted from Doug's back. He felt lighter knowing that he wasn't freaking out over every little thing Ste said to Brendan, every little gesture they shared held no power over him anymore. He was happier than he had been in a long time. From the day he had met John Paul he had enjoyed spending time with him. He enjoyed the flirting; it had been awkward there was no doubt about that but it had been fun. Doug had looked forward to seeing John Paul again and again just so he could talk to him.

John Paul was staring at him again, he could feel it. He could always feel it, a shiver always shot down his spine when he could feel John Paul's gaze on him. They were sitting on the sofa in Doug's flat watching a film. Well Doug was watching the film, John Paul was watching Doug.

"Do you have any idea what's happened?" Doug asked teasingly. "You haven't been paying much attention."

"Sorry, I got a bit distracted," John Paul grinned and kissed Doug's neck.

"You're always getting distracted."

"Can I help it if you're gorgeous? Surely that's more your fault."

Doug laughed. "Now you're just making excuses."

"I don't need any excuses," John Paul pulled Doug back so he was leaning against him and wrapped his arms around his waist. "I'm just going to stare with you anyway."

"I'm not that interesting."

"I do believe we've already had this conversation and I decided that you are," John Paul replied, placing small kisses along the base of Doug's neck.

"Well as long as you've decided," Doug closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of John Paul's lips on his skin. He entwined his fingers with John Paul's and relaxed.

They lay like that for a while in complete silence, just enjoying the feel of each other. "Do you know why I always stare at you?" John Paul asked eventually, breaking the silence.

"No," Doug replied.

"It's your eyes."

"My eyes?"

"They're the first thing I noticed about you. They're so blue and beautiful. You know, I can actually see them light up when you smile."

Doug blushed and he didn't know how to respond, feeling a little uncomfortable. Sensing his discomfort, John Paul stroked his cheek and kissed him. Doug twisted around so he was facing him.

"You know," John Paul started. "After Craig I never thought I'd be happy again."

"I know what you mean. Ste was my whole life and when it ended it did feel like my world was crashing down."

"Yeah. You spend so long being with a person and loving them that at the time you can't imagine being without them. I spent so long fighting to be with Craig that when we finally did get together properly I couldn't imagine my life without him."

"It didn't seem like it at the time but breaking up with Ste was for the best," Doug said. "We were never gonna last, I just wish I'd seen that at the time. I was so in love with him and I tried so hard to hold onto him. I desperately wanted him to forget Brendan but he never could and I became someone I didn't even recognise."

Doug lay his head on John Paul's chest. "Do you ever regret it?"

"Being with Ste?" John Paul nodded. "I don't know. I want to, sometimes I wish we'd just have stayed friends so that I didn't get hurt but if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have become the person I am now and despite the heartbreak I'm happy. I'll just chalk everything up to experience and move on. Do you have any regrets?"

"I regret all the secrets and lies and I regret all the hurt but no I don't regret it. Like you say, just chalk it up to experience."

They kissed again softly at first but quickly becoming more passionate. Doug felt a shiver as John Paul's hands went under his shirt and ran up his back.

Doug groaned when he heard the door open, hating the inevitable interruption.

"Hiya," Leanne greeted brightly. "Don't mind me, I'm just getting changed to go out," she announced as she ran up the stairs.

"She has the worst timing," John Paul laughed. "It's like she knows."

"She's the master at interrupting," Doug agreed and gave John Paul a quick kiss on the lips.

"D'ya want to come?" Leanne asked as she bounded back down the stairs in a different outfit to the one she had gone up wearing. "Oh, what film are ya watchin'? Looks really boring. So, you two up for coming out?"

"Yeah, okay," Doug sighed and turned to John Paul who also nodded. "I'll just go get my jacket," he said as he headed up the stairs to his room. He looked around for a moment for his jacket before he felt someone come up behind him. "Sorry about that, Leanne wouldn't have taken no for an answer."

"I know," John Paul kissed Doug's neck. "She is rather persuasive."

"That's one word for it."

"Maybe we can sneak away after a couple of drinks and continue what we started."

"That sounds like a good plan," Doug spun around and kissed John Paul. "Come on then," he said, grabbing John Paul's hand and pulling him to the door. "The quicker we get this over with, the quicker we can have some fun."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Ok, I don't really like this chapter but the more I work on it the more I hate it so I'm just going to post it, get it over with and move onto the next bit. I was trying to create a scene where Ste and Doug talk about their failed relationship because it doesn't seem like the actual show is in any hurry to but I'm not happy with the result. Oh well, c'est la vie.**

**Although I do like the last review I got which said I should write a chapter with Matthew. That'd be adorable so I'm going to do that.**

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Doug sat at the table in the Dog with his hand entwined with John Paul's as Leanne nattered about something or other. He wasn't really paying attention; he was concentrating more on the warmth of John Paul's hand surrounding his own. John Paul was absent-mindedly stroking Doug's hand with his thumb as he pretended to pay attention to what Leanne was saying. Doug smiled shyly at him when he caught John Paul's eye and they took a moment to gaze at each other.

"Are you two even listening to me?" Leanne's voice pierced the moment and it was lost. "I swear it's like I'm invisible."

"You could never be invisible Leanne," Doug grinned at her. "You're loud enough for the entire village."

"Oi you," Leanne laughed and playfully hit Doug's arm. "You can buy me another drink for that."

"Actually we were going to head off," Doug told her.

"Oh, so you're just abandoning me for your new boyfriend," Leanne replied in mock indignation. "That's fine; you go and leave me all alone."

"Leanne…"

"No," Leanne shooed him away with a hand gesture and scowl. "You can't say anything." She managed to hold her scowl for a few more seconds before she broke into a smile. "Gotcha," she teased.

"You sure you're okay with us going?" Doug asked.

"Yes, I did kind of drag you out in the first place. Go and have some fun."

"Love ya," Doug smiled and kissed Leanne on the cheek. He grabbed his coat and took John Paul's hand. "I'll see you later."

"Bye," Leanne waved and took another sip of her drink.

xXx

Doug and John Paul lay on Doug's bed facing each other, holding hands and kissing tenderly. They had lain like this since returning an hour previously. They were in no hurry. They just enjoyed being next to each other. Doug loved it when they did this, it was like getting to know each other without the words. He enjoyed getting to know every part of John Paul's body just as much as he enjoyed getting to know his personality. There was nothing hurried about what they were doing, it was not frantic or rushed, it was calm and languid.

"I love it when we do this," John Paul whispered between kisses, his voice rough.

"Uh huh me too," Doug replied breathlessly.

John Paul pulled away slightly and stared into Doug's eyes. They were shining even in the dim light. He lifted Doug's hand to his mouth and placed a soft kiss on the palm.

"You know, I haven't done anything like this in a long time."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Me and Craig used to do it when we first got together but not towards the end. We were too busy fighting."

Doug swallowed hard and sat up on the bed. He knew he shouldn't feel threatened by the ghosts of John Paul's past relationship but after everything that had happened with Ste and Brendan he couldn't help it. John Paul couldn't help but notice.

"What's wrong? Is it 'cos I mentioned Craig? I didn't think that you were that insecure."

"I'm not. I just don't like hearing how perfect your relationship was."

"You are that insecure. You think that just because Ste wasn't over Brendan that I'm the same. How can you even think that?"

Doug couldn't think of a response. He felt like an idiot for just thinking it.

"I'm not going to stay here and be accused of something I didn't do. Listen, why don't you figure out how you feel and then get back to me," John Paul stood up and stormed out of the flat, leaving Doug alone and miserable.

xXx

Doug was in a foul mood the next day. He couldn't keep it to himself and he banged and clattered around the Deli.

"Damn it," he shouted as he dropped a bowl of salad onto the floor.

"Are you all right?" Ste asked him.

"I'm just great," Doug snapped. "Sorry," he apologised quickly. "It's not your fault."

"Something wrong with lover boy?" Ste asked, only half sarcastically.

"We had a fight," Doug explained; sliding down the side of the counter and rubbing his hands over his face. "A bad one."

"What about?" Ste sat down next to him.

"About my inability to trust him," Doug sighed. "It seems to be a running theme in my relationships."

Ste looked into Doug's eyes and he could see the pain and the unshed tears. "Maybe you should talk to him."

"And say what? I'm sorry I don't trust you because I keep comparing our relationship to my previous one and think you're gonna run off with your ex. I sound pathetic. I am pathetic."

"You're not pathetic."

"Yes I am. I am so pathetic. I'm letting my feelings over what happened with us cloud my relationship with John Paul. I hate it. I fought so long and so hard to keep you but I just ended up losing you anyway. You were so wrapped up in Brendan God damned Brady that you hurt me so much and you didn't even seem to care that you were doing it. You treated me so badly and now I'm projecting my fear that this will happen again onto John Paul," Doug couldn't stop the tears from falling down his face and he angrily wiping them away, ashamed that he had let Ste see him so down.

Ste sighed. He really hadn't considered Doug's feelings since he had returned; he'd been too wrapped up in Brendan. Doug had seemed okay and at peace with their relationship so Ste had assumed that they didn't need to talk about any of it. He'd just swept it under the carpet and hoped that nothing would come of it. There was a great deal of residual hurt and anger on Doug's part though.

"I don't want it to," Doug confessed tearily. "I don't mean it to but I can't help it. I spent so long not trusting you over Brendan and over and over again you would lie to me and convince me I was crazy for feeling that way. Why would you do that?"

"I dunno," Ste replied quietly. "I guess that I was trying to convince myself that I wasn't still in love with Brendan and I didn't want you to bring it up."

"So you used me to hide your own feelings?"

"No, it wasn't like that at all."

"It's what it sounds like to me."

"I did love you, Doug, I did…"

"But you loved Brendan more," Doug finished. "Then why did you continue to be with me? Why did you let our relationship get so far? I would have done anything to make you happy and you only ever made me miserable. You never would have left me, would you? If I hadn't given you that ticket at the airport you would have gone to America with me. You would have spent the rest of your life with me when our entire relationship was a lie."

"I didn't know you felt that way."

"That's because I've done a very good job of hiding it. I thought I could get over it. I tried so hard to get you out of my head and I thought it was working. I thought I was moving on but you're still there. It doesn't change anything though. I'm still in this mess because of you and I don't know how to get out of it."

"You should talk to him," Ste told him. "You should be honest with him. I wasn't honest with you and that's what our problem was."

"I know."

"But you like him, I can see that and he likes you too. You always seem so happy when you're with him. Not like with me."

"And what if it's not that simple? What if I've ruined everything?"

"You won't have."

xXx

Doug sat on the sofa staring at his phone. He'd typed an apology but he didn't have the nerve to send it. He wiped another tear from his cheek as he wallowed in his own self pity. He didn't want to be like this. This is how it had been with Ste and he wasn't going to feel like this again. He needed to see John Paul and talk to him. He checked his watch. John Paul should be home by now. He grabbed his jacket and hurried out of the flat.

John Paul had been moping since the fight with Doug last night. Everyone had noticed and they'd been teasing him about it all day. He didn't care though, he was too miserable to care. He couldn't believe that Doug didn't trust him. He'd thought they'd had a good relationship but that obviously wasn't the case. Maybe it was for the best that this all came out now and not further down the relationship.

There was a soft knock at the door. John Paul almost didn't answer it but something compelled him to. When he opened it he saw Doug standing there.

"Can we talk?" He asked his voice quiet and hoarse; John Paul could see he'd been crying. "Please," he added.

John Paul opened the door further and Doug stepped inside. "Everyone's out," he answered to an unasked question. Doug simply nodded. "I thought you'd said everything you had to say last night."

"I came to apologise and explain. I am so sorry about last night."

"I'd rather hear the explanation than the apology."

Doug took a deep breath. "I allowed my feelings from my relationship with Ste get in the way of my relationship with you and I shouldn't have. I thought I had it all worked out and I thought that I wasn't angry and hurt about it anymore but it turns out I was wrong."

"Do you still want to be with Ste?"

"No, not at all. I don't feel that way about him anymore but I guess I'm still hurt about everything. He made me feel like an idiot, he made me feel inadequate and those feelings didn't go away, I just buried them and hoped they would just disappear. But that's my problem, not yours and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"You could have just talked to me instead of accusing me."

"I know and I'm sorry. I'm just an irrational ball of neuroses and I hate that. I really like you."

"I like you too but I'm not going to be in a relationship with you if you're going to let this get in the way."

"It won't, I promise. Ste and I actually talked and I got it out in the open. It feels a lot better to have it all out there, like another weight's been lifted from my shoulders. I am really sorry though."

"I know," John Paul sighed and pulled Doug into a hug. Doug rested his head on John Paul's shoulder. "You have to understand I would never have started this relationship with you if I wasn't ready or if I wasn't over Craig. I wouldn't put you through that. I'm not Ste. I'm not going to use you to keep my mind off my ex and I'm not going to go running back to him."

"I know. I shouldn't have thought you were."

"I'm with you because I like you not because you're a rebound. You make me smile and we have fun together. That's not something I thought would happen again so quickly. I didn't intend to fall for you like this but I did. I wasn't looking for another relationship but you appeared and you made me feel alive again."

"Can we just start again?" Doug asked.

"That would be good."

"I'm going to kiss you now if that's okay."

"That's more than okay," John Paul smiled and pressed his lips against the young American's. "Maybe we should continue this upstairs," he suggested.

"Why? You afraid your mom's gonna walk in on us?"

"Yes I am but I'm more afraid that she'll crack out the baby photos when she sees you here."

"But that seems like such a fun way to spend the afternoon," Doug laughed.

"Don't even joke about it, it's embarrassing."

"That's why I'm glad my parents are in America."

"Well maybe one day you can take me there and I can ask to see them."

"You think we'll be together long enough to go and meet my parents?"

"I hope so," John Paul smiled. "I'm up for it if you are."

"I'm definitely up for it," Doug grinned and kissed John Paul again.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Another short little chapter. A reviewer mentioned doing a chapter with Matthew so I gave it a go.**

**To the last reviewer: This story isn't meant to be anything other a pointless fluff. I'm used to writing angsty and sad fics (just check out my other ones) and I wanted to write something cute without and major angst. Believe it or not, this is more challenging for me because I love to heap pain and suffering on characters. I'm a sadist like that.**

**Anyway, hope you all like.**

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"Hiya, I wasn't expecting to see you today," John Paul greeted Doug with a quick kiss. "Come in; I was just about to feed Matthew."

Doug entered the McQueen house and stood by the door, feeling slightly awkward though he didn't know why.

"You can sit down, you know," John Paul smiled. Doug sat down on the chair, perching on the very edge. "You look like you're about to run away at any moment," John Paul laughed. "Here, hold Matthew for a minute while I get his bottle ready."

"Okay," Doug said a little uncertainly as John Paul placed the small baby into his arms. Matthew squirmed in his arms for a moment before settling. Doug took a minute to look at the baby. He was adorable. Doug couldn't help but smile as Matthew wrapped his tiny little hand around his finger.

John Paul couldn't help but stand and stare at the two of them. Matthew was happily curled up in Doug's arms and his younger lover was staring down at the child, clearly enamoured. It was a very sweet sight to see.

"I think he likes you," John Paul grinned as he gently placed a bib with 'Friday' written on it over Matthew's head.

"You got the wrong day."

"Ah, he'll never know the difference."

"He's adorable."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you'd been kept awake most of the night."

"Yes I would."

"Yeah I would too," John Paul laughed. "Do you want to feed him?"

"Sure."

John Paul handed Doug the bottle. "You're good with kids."

"I like children. I haven't had too much to do with them, except for Ste's kids and they were adorable. I think I'd like to have my own one day but not right now. I want to be a bit older and a bit more settled."

"I wouldn't change it for the world. It's hard," John Paul admitted. He knelt down in front of Doug and stroked Matthew's cheek. "It's really hard but it's worth it."

"You're lucky, you've got your family around."

"I know. I don't know what I'd do without my mum some days."

John Paul knew it wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be him and Craig in their home in Dublin but life obviously had other things in mind. He had never expected to find himself back at home, living with his mum but there he was; in his front room with a whole new life in front of him.

"Here, you should take him; I think he's full," Doug's voice broke John Paul out of his thoughts. He stood up and took Matthew, sitting down next to Doug so he could wind his son.

Matthew fell asleep after he'd been fed. John Paul gently rocked him in his arms. Doug watched him for a moment as he stared adoringly at his son. "It's funny how life twists and turns. I never thought I would have Matthew but now he's here I don't know what I'd do without him. I always thought I'd be with Craig but now I'm here with you."

"Would you change any of it?" Doug asked.

"I sometimes wish Craig and I parted on better terms," John Paul admitted. "The end was horrible but otherwise no. There are things that make being back home more than worth it," he grinned and leaned in to kiss Doug. "What about you?"

"I wish I'd broken up with Ste _before _we got married. Might've saved me a lot of heartache," Doug replied and kissed John Paul again. They continued kissing slowly, taking time to enjoy the feeling of each other's lips.

"You know, my mum's going to be back soon," John Paul said through the kisses.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I could ask her to babysit Matthew and we could go out."

"Sounds like a plan," Doug grinned. "I have a better one."

"Do you really?"

"We could stay in," he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"That's a much better plan," John Paul laughed and pulled Doug in for another kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I got a request asking me to write a chapter based on the spoilers for a couple of weeks time where "John Paul turns to Doug for solace" so here it is.**

**I have an idea of what it might be about so I'm implying but not stating outright.**

**It's not really spoilery but if you're against that sort of thing you can just avoid the chapter, it (like every other chapter) adds nothing to the story, lol.**

* * *

Doug was disturbed from what he was doing by a light knock on the door. It was hesitant and unsure and for a second Doug had thought he was hearing things. He wasn't expecting anyone. He'd planned to spend the evening alone watching TV so he didn't really know who it could be. He moved from his comfortable spot on the sofa to the door. Opening it, he saw John Paul on the other side. He didn't look happy; he looked perplexed and almost sad. He was agitated and clearly distressed by something.

"Hey," he said grimly. "Can I come in?"

"Of course," Doug pushed the door open further to allow him to enter. "Are you okay?" He asked. "You look awful."

John Paul closed the door and pulled Doug into a tight hug, burying his head into Doug's shoulder. They stood like that for a few minutes not saying anything before Doug pulled away, took John Paul's hand and led him to the sofa.

"What's wrong?" Doug asked, taking John Paul's hand in his and squeezing it gently.

"What would you do if you found out something? Something really bad?" John Paul asked.

"It depends, how bad are we talking?"

"If I told anyone then it could ruin the life of the person concerned. I mean really ruin it because it's that bad. I wish I'd never found out because I know them and I like them and now I don't know what to do."

Doug didn't really know what to say. He wasn't sure what words would be any comfort to the distressed man sat beside him. "What would happen if you didn't do anything?" He asked, hesitantly.

"I don't know," he admitted. "The thing is, what happened isn't right. This person could get into a lot of trouble if I told anyone but what they did was wrong. It wasn't murder or anything like that but it was still wrong and it doesn't sit right with me that they could do something like that and abuse their position in that way."

"What do you think is the right thing to do?" Doug asked. "What would be the worst option, losing the trust of this person or making sure they don't do what they did again?"

"I don't know."

"Then let me rephrase it. What would you do if you didn't know the person?"

"I'd probably do something. Makes me sound a bit of a hypocrite doesn't it? If I didn't know them I wouldn't even hesitate but because they're a friend I can't decide what to do."

"It makes you human," Doug replied. "Look, I can't tell you what to do because it's your choice. I don't know the details of what's gone on so I can't comment on what you should do. But I will stick by you whatever you choose and I will back your decision. It's your choice but I will be behind you no matter what."

"Thank you," John Paul said gratefully, smiling softly at Doug.

"You're welcome," Doug smiled back and ran his hand through John Paul's hair. John Paul rested his head on Doug's shoulder and Doug pulled him into a hug. They sat like that for a while, not talking, with Doug comforting John Paul silently.

Doug felt comfortable sitting there gently stroking John Paul's hair with one hand. John Paul cuddled closer to him and fingered the hem of Doug's t-shirt. Doug gasped as John Paul's fingers brushed against his skin with the lightest touch. He took John Paul's hand in his and intertwined their fingers. John Paul looked up, staring into Doug's blue eyes before leaning in and kissing him. Doug felt his heart skip at the feel of John Paul's lips against his, soft and gentle but full of passion. John Paul wrapped his arms around Doug's waist, pushing him down on the sofa until he was lying on top of Doug.

"Maybe we should continue this upstairs," Doug moaned through kisses.

"I'm comfy here."

"And what if we get disturbed?"

"That's a point. Come on," John Paul stood up and pulled Doug to his feet, kissing him deeply before they headed up the stairs.

xXx

Doug woke up to find himself alone in bed. John Paul was nowhere to be seen. He took a quick glance at the clock and realised he had been asleep for a few hours, it was now early morning. Fighting the urge to fall back to sleep he grabbed some clothes and headed down the stairs. He found John Paul stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counter nursing a glass of water. He hadn't noticed Doug and looked deep in thought. Doug felt sorry for him; he wouldn't want to have to make this sort of decision. Doug walked up to him and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

"You okay?" He asked. John Paul nodded slightly.

"Yeah I'll be fine."

"Have you decided what to do?"

"Not yet. It just keeps going round and round in my head but I just can't decide."

"You'll do what's best."

"That depends on how you look at it."

"Then come back to bed, clear your mind and get some sleep. Things might seem clearer when you've had some rest."

"I doubt it but going back to bed seems like a good idea,"

"What, again? Has anyone ever told you you're insatiable?"

"I never said anything like that. You're the one whose mind went there. I'm just an innocent victim to your filthy mind."

"Yeah yeah whatever," Doug laughed. "It's the way you said it."

"You're still imagining things. Really, Doug, I worry for your sanity."

"At least you don't seem to be letting this get in the way of your terrible sense of humour. I suppose that's something."

"There's nothing wrong with my sense of humour," John Paul smiled. "Really though, thank you for tonight. I needed it."

"Whatever you need I'm here," Doug kissed John Paul once more. "Come on, let's go back to bed."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: New chapter time. I wrote this from a request left in a review, so enjoy. And I might be venting my annoyance at Ste a little in this, just to warn you.**

**I have an idea for another chapter but if anyone has any suggestions on what I could write about let me know and I'll write it.**

* * *

"Come on, we're going out," John Paul announced, grabbing Doug's hand as soon as he opened the door to his flat and almost dragged him out. "No arguments."

"But…" Doug started but John Paul quickly interrupted.

"I said no arguments."

"I know I was just going to ask if I could at least get my jacket first."

"Oh, yeah, just hurry up."

Doug disappeared and reappeared a few seconds later wearing his jacket. "So where are we going?"

"I thought we'd go into town for the day, wander round and maybe go to a pub."

"Sounds like a plan," Doug smiled.

"Well my mum's looking after Matthew so I thought why not spend the day with my favourite bloke over the age of one?"

"John Paul McQueen, ever the romantic," Doug joked. John Paul grinned back and playfully nudged Doug's shoulder with his own.

"Ah you love it, don't deny that you do."

"It does have a certain charm."

"That's because I'm charming."

"And with a very high opinion of your…" Doug started but was stopped by John Paul's lips against his.

"You were saying?"

"I can't remember," Doug smiled and kissed John Paul again.

"Come on, we'd better get going," John Paul grabbed Doug's hand and once more pulled him away.

xXx

"D'you want a pint?" John Paul asked Doug.

"Yeah sure," Doug replied as they headed towards the bar. Doug leaned against the bar and smiled at John Paul. "I've had a fun day."

"See, aren't you glad you let me pull you out? Just think, you could've been sat at home all day doing nothing but watching TV but you've had a very nice day out."

"Yeah, I have. Shall we get a table?" Doug asked and John Paul nodded in agreement whilst taking a sip of his pint. They took their drinks and found a table in the corner. They sat down next to each other, their knees touching.

"So, how's work? Ste still…"

"…Going off at the deep end?" Doug finished John Paul's sentence. "Yeah. I don't know where I stand with him. One minute he's apologising for being an ass and the next he's being an ass. He just thinks that I'm going to keep putting up with his behaviour and forgiving him. He tells me I don't have a clue what he's going through but he just expects me to be there when it suits him."

"You don't have to put up with it, you know."

"I know."

"Look, I hate Ste; I really do but he can't just go around treating you the way he does. Maybe you need to stop forgiving him and just let him get into whatever mess he's going to get himself into. You can't stop him from self-destructing if that's what he wants to do."

"I just want him to realise that I'm not his enemy. I just want what's best for him."

"He'll see it eventually; he's just too caught up in his own stuff at the moment."

"I just hate seeing him so broken. It's not nice."

"I know it's horrible but you don't have to let him treat you like dirt," John Paul smiled supportively and stroked Doug's hand. "I get that you two are close and you have a lot of history but he doesn't have the right to treat you like his own personal punching bag. You're worth more than that."

Doug leaned in and kissed John Paul softly. "You always manage to say the right thing."

"It's a gift," John Paul replied before he kissed Doug again.

"Look, mummy, those two boys are kissing," they heard a surprised little boy cry out. They pulled away from each other and looked over to the next table where a family were sitting.

"Shh," the mother hissed. "Stop staring."

"But why are they kissing? Don't boys kiss girls?"

"Yes they do."

"So why are those two boys kissing?"

"I don't care," the father interjected before the mother could reply. "It's wrong and they shouldn't be doing it in front of our son. It's disgusting."

Doug took a sharp intake of breath.

"What did you say?" John Paul said.

"I said it's wrong."

"Wrong? How is it wrong?"

"It's not natural, two men kissing. It should be men and women."

"Nonsense. There's nothing unnatural about us. How can you bring your child up to think that it's wrong for two men to kiss each other?"

"Because it is."

"You can't even come up with a decent reason as to why it's wrong."

"Maybe we should just go," Doug said; not wanting to cause a scene.

"Why should we? Why should we leave because this man is a bigot?"

"He's not gonna change his mind whatever we say and I don't want this to ruin our day. Come on," Doug took hold of John Paul's hand and they both stood up to leave. Just before they exited Doug turned back to the man. "You know, sometimes men kiss men and sometimes women kiss women but that's okay. There's nothing wrong with it."

"How can he say stuff like that? In front of his son as well! He's going to grow up thinking that it's okay to think like that."

"Maybe he won't. I don't have the same opinions as my dad. Maybe he'll grow up more enlightened."

"Maybe you're right. I would just hate to think that Matthew would grow up and think like that."

"He won't," Doug assured. "Because he has a brilliant dad who loves him and will teach him that it doesn't matter who you love just as long as you love them," Doug kissed John Paul's cheek and hugged him.

"Bit of a bad end to the day, sorry about that," John Paul apologised.

"It's not your fault that man was an idiot. Anyway, it doesn't have to be the end of the day. How about we go back to yours, let your mom go out and spend the night with Matthew."

"You want to spend the night looking after my son?"

"Yeah and I want to spend the night with you and Matthew. It'd be the perfect end to the day."

"Shall we go then," John Paul said as he held out his hand. Doug took it in his and they began walking.

"Yeah let's go."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Another new chapter. I swear I am trying to out cute my previous chapters with this one. Still no plot and still no point but I'm having fun writing these little one shots. I'm also really excited for the McCarter snogging action on this weeks Hollyoaks.**

* * *

Doug had fallen asleep on the sofa with Matthew lying on his chest also fast asleep with his head resting against Doug's shoulder. John Paul thought he looked adorable. His hair had flopped forward and was brushed against his forehead.

"Long day?" He heard a voice behind him. It was Myra.

"Hmm?"

"Doug, he's fast asleep on the sofa. D'you want a cuppa?"

"I thought you were going out."

"I am but it doesn't mean I can't make a cuppa for me son first though, does it?"

"Sure, I'd love one," John Paul replied and went back to staring at Doug and Matthew.

Silence fell on the house and all John Paul could hear was Myra clattering in the kitchen. He couldn't take his eyes off Doug and Matthew.

"That's a lovely sight," Myra smiled and handed her son a mug.

"Yeah."

"You like Doug don't you?"

"I really like him."

"He makes you smile. That's a good thing."

"I guess it is."

"No, really it is. After all the pain you've been through it's nice to see you happy."

Myra rested her hand on John Paul's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I know you loved Craig."

"He was my world for so long," John Paul told her. "I didn't think I could live without him. I thought that we'd be together forever, you know?" Myra nodded silently but said nothing. "Breaking up with him was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and I thought that my world was falling apart. Then I met Doug and it all seemed to get a little easier.

"He makes me smile. From the first moment I met him he made me smile and he's been making me feel happy ever since. We have fun."

"I'm glad. He's a nice boy. I'm just happy you've met someone you can bring home and not have to hide."

John Paul laughed. "Yeah. Secret relationships are all fun and games when you're a teenager but rather tiring when you're supposed to be a grown up."

"Aww, you'll always be my little boy."

"I'm so glad Doug isn't awake to hear that, I'd never hear the end of it."

Myra laughed. "But that's half the fun. Anyway, have a good night," Myra reached up and kissed her son on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you later," John Paul said goodbye to Myra as she left. He turned back to Doug and Matthew, neither of whom had stirred. Not wanting to miss such an opportunity he took out his phone and quickly took a photo of them. He sat down on the sofa next to Doug; who shifted and rested his head on John Paul's shoulder. John Paul gently pushed the hair away from Doug's forehead. "You awake?" John Paul asked as he put his arm around Doug's shoulder.

"No," Doug replied, his eyes still closed. His voice was rough and full of sleep. John Paul loved his voice when he sounded like that, he found it very sexy.

"Liar," John Paul smiled and used his other hand to gently rubbed Matthew's back. "If you were awake then you wouldn't answer me."

"Maybe I'm just sleep talking."

"Of course you are."

Doug opened his eyes and sleepily looked up at John Paul, his blue eyes sparkling in the dim light. "How long was I asleep?"

"About half an hour. You looked so comfy with Matthew I didn't want to disturb you."

"I didn't even realise I was tired. I'm hungry."

"We could order a pizza. Everyone's out for the evening so we have the place to ourselves."

"Sounds good."

"Okay, I'll just put Matthew to bed and you order the pizza," John Paul kissed Doug and gently picked up Matthew. His son wriggled in his arms but quickly settled. "Come on," he whispered quietly to his sleeping son, "Let's get you to bed."

He took Matthew upstairs and placed him in his cot. "You like Doug, don't you?" He said quietly, smiling as he stroked Matthew's head. "I know he likes you. I love you, sweetheart; so much and I always will."

xXx

"Pizza'll be here soon," Doug told John Paul as he sat down next to his lover and kissed him. "Matthew settle okay?"

"He's sleeping like a baby," John Paul joked.

"I bet he is."

John Paul pushed Doug down on the sofa, kissing him as he did. "You're eager," Doug laughed as John Paul kissed his neck, running his hands up and down Doug's back; pulling him so close that Doug could feel every inch of John Paul's body against his own.

"Just making use of the time available. I'll stop if you want," John Paul pretended to pull away.

"Don't you dare," Doug pulled him back down and kissed him. He pulled John Paul's shirt up and ran his hands over the bare skin on his back. They lay like that for several minutes just kissing.

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" John Paul asked between kisses.

"You sure? I've never stayed over before."

"Yeah. I've stayed over at yours often enough. You just have to put up with my family first thing on a morning which is no easy feat if you haven't had any coffee."

Doug laughed, "They can't be that bad."

"You know how Texas and Leanne are in the morning?" Doug nodded. "Well, it's kind of like that only ten times more insane because my family are mental."

"But in a good way."

"Definitely in a good way. I don't know what I'd do without them."

There was a knock at the door. "That'll be the pizza," Doug said as he sat up, playfully pushing John Paul off him; who groaned at the interruption.

"I'll get some wine," John Paul said heading to the kitchen before returning with a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses.

They sat down next to each other and ate the pizza in comfortable silence. Every so often Doug would move his foot and run it up John Paul's leg. Eventually John Paul placed their wine glasses on the table and pulled Doug to his feet.

"Come on, we're going upstairs now," he instructed.

"Why?" Doug tried to look innocent and unaware of what he had been doing.

"Oh don't play the innocent with me, Doug Carter,I know exactly what you've been doing," he kissed Doug and took his hand, almost dragging him up the stairs.

xXx

Matthew was awake and crying. John Paul didn't want to wake Doug who was lying beside him, asleep, so he picked up his son and carefully carried him downstairs.

"Everything okay?" Myra asked and John Paul nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Mum, you scared the life out of me. Everything's fine, Matthew's just not settling," he sat down on the sofa next to his mother.

"Here, give him over," Myra said and took Matthew into her arms, rocking him gently. "Doug asleep?" She gave him a knowing look.

John Paul blushed slightly. "Yeah, I didn't want to wake him."

"You don't have to look embarrassed, I am well aware of what you lot get up to."

"It's still weird talking to my mum about it."

Myra ignored him. "There, look; he's starting to settle," she said about Matthew who was beginning to calm in her arms. "Here, you'd better get him back up to bed."

"Thanks mum," John Paul smiled and kissed her cheek. "Night."

"Night, sweetheart," Myra said as John Paul headed back up the stairs. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do," she laughed at the look John Paul shot at her.

John Paul placed Matthew back in his cot before going back to bed and curling his body around Doug's smaller frame.

"Matthew okay?" He heard the younger man ask sleepily. "I heard him crying."

"Yeah," John Paul replied, kissing Doug's neck. "He just needed a cuddle off his nan. Go back to sleep."

"Okay," Doug replied. He fell silent for a moment. "By the way."

"What?"

"Don't you dare put that picture of me you took with Matthew earlier on the internet. I will kill you."

"You have my word," John Paul laughed and closed his eyes, taking Doug's hand in his as they both fell asleep.


End file.
